I haven't really talked about this at all yet, but I'm going on a mission trip to Buffalo, New York all next week, and then that Saturday we're going to Niagara Falls.

So since I'm not done packing and have to get up in 4 hours, [we're leaving at 5AM. REALLY?! Yeah, really. -.-] so what am I doing? Blogging! :D

It's going to be about a 16 hour drive there, so I am really not looking forward to that, but I'm bringing a book with me and my mp3 player, and a coloring book and my pillow. I think that shall keep me pretty occupied. Not to mention the other 17 people from my youth group going as well.

Though I'll be working my butt off all next week, I'm pretty excited. I get to meet lots of new people and it's generally a lot of fun. I just hate packing. With a passion.

I won't have internet there, so I'll be dead for a while. So until then, I guess you could say I'm on a hiatus.

I still need to pack my shoes...and tools... and overnight pack... and coloring books and crayons...and...

If there is one thing I hate, it's speaking in front of people. I. Can't. Do. It. And I don't think I ever will be. My hands start to shake, my face gets red, I stutter and can't get my words out right so I look like a downright retard. Sometimes, I'll even get to the point where I cry--and I don't particularly like doing that in front of people either.

It's really embarrassing and it's something that really annoys and bothers me. But it's not like I can really do anything to fix it. Sure, I can practice talking in front of people and sure, I will have to do many different times in my life, but I'll honestly tell you I don't believe I'll get much better.

What really puts me over the edge is if what I'm talking about is personal. For example, my youth group at my church is going on a mission trip to New York to do construction work and to be eligible to go, you have to meet certain requirements. One of them is you have to give your testimony. Not a big deal right?

But if you're put on the spot, in front of thirty people, and you're told that you have to talk about something very personal, that is something completely different. So being the lucky duck I am, I had to off the top of my head come up with my testimony in front of 30 people, and I believe I already mentioned I don't talk in front of people very well. To simply put it, it didn't go well.

To top it all off though, one of our youth leaders wanted us to critique other people when they're finished. I'm sorry, but that is just ridiculous. You don't criticize and critique somebody's testimony. It's like saying, "Your life story sucks. Get a new one." I don't think so. That is just something that you do not critique. Thankfully though, nobody critiqued mine, (I'm sure the main reason is they all took pity on little ol' me).  All in all, it was not a fun night, and I didn't even stay for church. One of my friends in college gave me a ride home.